Week 18 & 19

I am behind on my blogging, but for a legitimate and approved reason!  I attended a 12 day Vipassana retreat.  Wow!! It was truly life transforming.  And so many overlaps with the Master Key Experience.   In order to truly EXPERIENCE the retreat, we were to be in noble silence for 10 days, no reading, no writing, no non-verbal communication. It was about actually experiencing the technique.  It was about developing a 2500 year old technique on how to change the habit pattern of your mind (subconscious) so that you are able to let go of negative thought patterns which manifest a misery in both your physical and emotional body.  It is a technique that teaches you how to sharpen your mind to have mastery over it so that you are able to develop the ART OF LIVING.  It is a science of mind and matter. I learned how miserable I was (deep down; not on the surface) and how easy it is to cultivate peace, harmony and happiness!

During out MKMMA practices on forgiveness, I was able to forgive everyone in my life that I needed to except two people.  On day 4 and day 9 I was able to truly forgive each of those people in the retreat.

I have had difficulty sitting completely still for my 15 minute sit each day, although I have done it a few times, but mostly I have to move in some small way.  I learned how to sit completely still for over an hour at the retreat.  It initially hurt my body, but I now can work through that and feel the benefits.

I realize that I am not someone who needs to add more things to my to do list each day.  I am productive.  I have accomplished almost all goals I have set for myself.  I live a blessed life.  I realize that what I need to do is STOP.  I need to sit.  I need to reflect.  I need to relax.

To give myself the time to fully engage in Vipassana practice for 12 days was the greatest gift I could give to myself.  I recommend it for everyone!!

Week 17a – Hero’s Journey

What a week it has been.  I am so thankful for this class right now.  It has helped me stay positive while our country enters into a fascist state.  Sorry for having opinions; sorry for my judgments.  I am very troubled, yet I am positive too.  This has been one of the most difficult weeks in life.  The values of LOVE are not being lived by those in power.  Another opinion, I know, but I am outraged.

My daily readings, mantras, exercises are keeping me in a great place.  I am much more at ease because of them.  I saw enthusiasm a lot last week, most notably in protestors.  Enthusiasm to have a more just world.

When rereading previous master keys as guided, I saw this work more deeply.  I am energized, not discouraged from the changes in the US administration.  Energized to help make this world better.

Okay, off of all technology I go.  Into Vipassina!

Week 17 -Imagination

imagine

I just don’t do this enough.  At least before last week, I didn’t.  Logic takes up a lot of space in my brain.  Analyzing, etc.  In college, I was an English major with a focus on creative writing.  I loved sitting in my bedroom window during college, writing short stories, IMAGINING.  My ability to write well gave me a great advantage in law school and as an attorney, but wow, how the style of writing legal documents is SOOOOO different than writing those stories in college.  I love language, especially descriptive words and I love to change up my vocabulary in everyday life.  Part of my DMP is to write a book.  It feels good to just write that.  I have spent some time contemplating the book, using my imagination.  I use my imagination when I work in my garden.   I see the completed project as I dig up the bed or build the garden itself.

Our world is an imagination.  Without imagination, nothing made by humans would exist.  I marveled at the imagination it took to create a surfboard, a car, my favorite song, my computer, the house I live in, etc.

For some reason, this brings me to think about how I wish leaders, politicians, CEO’s, would spend more time imaging how to make this Earth a better place than to be caught up in making money for themselves.

Then I read Master Keys 9 and 10 again.  And I wonder, why don’t I think I have been creative in my career?  I have.  I have imagined a world where women are equal to men and where communication is done respectfully.  I have utilized my imagination to practice law in a way that is authentic for me.   I imagine love and bring that into the courtroom.  My language may not be that flowery.  I can imagine an outlet for that flowery language in other ways.

As I write this, I wonder why I chose imagination as number two of the Franklin Makeover?  And this wonderment is causing me to think about why I chose Enthusiasm as number 3.  I must not have much trouble expressing enthusiasm if some of my friends think of me as “party planner Smurf”.

I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy!!

p.s. to my rover….I will do my blog for week 18, but then I will be taking a break that has been approved by the Fabulous Davene, for two weeks, as I participate in a retreat where I am completely disconnecting from technology and which is fulfilling one of the goals in my DMP.  I will catch up with weeks 19 and 20 after I end the retreat.

 

 

Week 16 -Love

I loved being focused on kindness, both giving and receiving.  Focusing on kindness helps to see the “miracle” that each of us are.  The more will fill out brain, our hearts, our actions, our attention with love in all of its expressions, the less room there is for sadness, hate, anger, jealousy, envy, rage, and any other negativity.  And, oh, to engage in acts of kindness anonymously.  It feels special.

I do see the blueprints in others sometimes jump out though.  It is difficult to remain positive when you clearly experience someone have an emotional reaction to a frustration they are feeling instead of just calmly expressing the frustration.  It is especially difficult when the person acts as though they were just trying to help, but then admits that the reaction was really done because they were annoyed.  Mixed messages.  Remaining the observer can be hard when that person is close to you.  If an acquaintance acts that way or a stranger does, it is much easier to observe and let go.  When it’s someone in your family its much harder.  I see the positive in the situation by realizing that the person has grown because, in the past, they would not have admitted that the behavior was done because they were annoyed.  They would have persisted in claiming that the behavior was done to help or was out of forgetfulness.  Thank goodness for growth.  At least there is growth, which is so much better than someone being stuck in their position, thinking they have nothing to change or learn.

Back to kindness…it really went hand in hand with my prior week’s action of being a pleasing person.  The exercises are engaging, fun and rewarding.  kindness

Week 15 -Bizzzzzzzzy life

I see my life changing rapidly!  The more love and positivity I put out consistently, the more I get in return.  This has led to a very full life filled with socializing and inter-personal relationship developments.  It has been extremely difficult to maintain the sacredness of the hour before bed.  For weeks now, life has been very full.  Family visiting, travel, work, events to organize and attend, work and spending time with my love.  It feels great and even though I am not doing all of the daily practices right now, I am continuing to do some.  I regularly blurt out DO IT NOW! or I CAN BE WHAT I WILL TO BE! I see shapes and colors and am reminded of their significance for me personally and the goals I have.  I walk past my movie poster regularly.  When I hike, I think about MKMMA, but I have usually been with others when doing this lately and don’t want to cut them out by putting on my earphones.  I am embracing the changes and need to let go of any feeling of guilt for not doing all of the practices, because I am developing relationships, making connections, and living in the moment, feeling very fulfilled.  It has been a special and interesting time.  I struggle a little with being reminded of the state of the world, the change in the federal administration that is about to take place (and already is taking place) and my state of fulfillment in life on a very personal level.  I sometimes feel like I am living a dream.  I almost hate to admit this, but overall, I am happy with my life already.  I have achieved many goals in life, live in the place on earth that feeds my soul, am able to readily support myself and have amazing friends and am in a deep loving relationship that for me, is perfect.  Yes, I have more goals.  I want to achieve more, especially in the realm of “creative expression”, which is why one of my PPN’s is that.  I know I will achieve my goals as I have achieved all the other goals I have set in my life so far.  SO, I let go of the fact that I am not doing all of my practices.  I cannot judge myself for this.  And I persist in noticing “pleasing personality” for my week One of the Franklin makeover, because that is my most challenging area.  The makeover is happening!  So far, 2017 has been great.

Week 14 – Movie time

Time keeps on slipping into the future.  Yet, it is always the present.  And staying in the present is where it is at.  Balancing that with goals for the future is the key.  I am noticing a change in my relationships.  I am noticing a change in who I am engaging with and how.  I feel that I have not been as diligent in keeping what I do for this course organized or kept track of, but I see and know that what I have learned so far, I am incorporating into my daily life regularly.  My attitude about everything is more positive.  I am getting more positivity reflected back to me.  There are moments when I fight off the guilt I feel for not doing an assignment, but I carry around my compass all the time and notice colors and shapes all the time now, which in a second brings me back to my goals.

I watched a few of the movies suggested.  Persistence is the key in all of them!  I really loved Door to Door.  It reminded me of how my daughter used to take things out of the bag we had in a corner of items to bring to good will and would go through her room and decide what she didn’t want anymore and she would go around our neighborhood knocking on people’s doors, selling the items.  She would come back with lots of money, actually.  Somehow, probably mostly because she was a cute little girl, she had a way of getting folks to decide to pay her for these items.  She had the tenacity to go up to the doors and ring the bell.  No fear on her part.  She had a goal and did what she needed to do to achieve it.  She would not spend the money right away either.  She would give it to me to save in an account until she wanted something special or needed something.

Now she is a business major in college and I see her bringing values of love, connection, environmentalism and empathy into her business savvy.  She is a vibrant black woman going into a very white male-dominated profession, but that is not a deterrent.  Bill Porter  was not deterred by his disability or the negative responses he got from anyone.  He persevered and succeeded.  My daughter’s name is Imara.  Her name is Swahili and means, “strength and perseverance”.  I aptly named her and love how my role as a mother and who my daughter has become, relate into the MKMMA teachings.

Week 13 – I am part of the WHOLE

we-are-all-connected-by-green-400-magazine

For my sits this week, I love what we are to recognize.  However, truly getting to or remaining in the state is not always easy.  I can actually recall various times in my life, not a whole lot, where I have been able to really and truly attain that state of being, that state where you fully feel the Infinite Power and Infinite Wisdom of the Universal Mind.  Where I have felt deep in my soul and known that we are all ONE and that each of us individually is a part of that ONE.  I mean, I know that intellectually all the time, but really feeling it is another state.

And then life happens.  Children need to be fed, the house needs to be cleaned, bills need to be paid, I need to wait in line for something, get delayed at an airport, get stuck in traffic, and a myriad of other aspects of living in the physical world come into play.  And I love being a physical being on this Earth.  What an opportunity and a blessing!  But the day to day tasks or realities we each face sometimes make it hard to remain completely present with feeling the ONEness of our existence.  It is divine to be in that feeling of awe.  If only I am able to maintain that.

I recognize that persistence in taking the time and space to be in that feeling, is so KEY.   Letting our subby get the best of us and toil away ours days forgetting to reconnect with the Source.  I am so grateful for Mark and Davene and the Master Key course they are guiding us through.  I am so much more aware of the negative thoughts which creep in to my life.  The practices create habit and I am able to recognize my subby at work quickly, although I still see where thought patterns from my childhood have a stronghold and recognizing those patterns don’t happen as quickly as I would like sometimes.

One of my PPNs is recognition for creative expression.  One of the childhood thought patterns that rears its head is “not being acknoweledged”, in general.  When I would sing, I was told I should focus on using my brain.  When I would draw, I would be told to focus on math, which I was good at.  When I would tell my parents that I was being harassed/teased by others, I was told to not worry about it.  When I would say to my parents, “that’s not what you said”, they would respond and say I must be remembering it wrong.  No acknowledgement.  As an adult woman, I am recognized in many, many ways, but I notice how quick I am to feel a lack of acknowledgement in different situations.  That subby is powerful and stubborn.  I have been working on this for years, many years.  I have known about this for a long time.  I go to a workshop, or give this issue some attention and then life goes on and I don’t maintain the positive habits. THis course is teaching me how to be persistent.  In theory, I have known about the Master Keys, and much of these teachings, but have never spent the time giving a concerted effort to change my thought patterns through practice like this.    I am excited to continue utilizing these practices for the rest of my life!

Week 12…the Power of Thought!

Ahhhh…..to think. We all do it. Some of us more than others. Some more positively than others. Some with more love infused in thought, than others.  Many times have I said (thought), “imagine if EVERYONE on earth truly loved each other equally and that each of their actions at every moment were made so that we would all live  in peace and with the intention to heal and nurture the earth.”  When I say ALL, I mean, all living beings.  The world would be transformed. That is the power we have collectively AND individually. The magnitude of this is enormous; universal, in fact. Thought infused with love. Unconditional love. 

We learn negative thought and behaviors. Imagine if we all only experienced love from the moment of our births? We would not have the need to retrain our minds like we are in this class. we would be able to be “in love” as our habit. I feel, deep in my soul, that this is possible. We all have that unconditional love within us, except many don’t remember how to access it. 

What a joy it has been to access that love again! Keeping Thought filled with love and remaining positive when thoughts stray has been allowing me to remain connected to the ONE/the all. They say it takes 40 days to break a habit/create a new one. Well, it’s been about twice that since starting this class, and the daily practices have become habit. Yet engaged in with enthusiasm because IT FEELS SO GOOD! 

It’s an irresistible force! And it’s Invincible! ❤️💡❤️💡❤️💡❤️💡❤️💡❤️💡❤️💡❤️

Week 11; Judgments all around me

For the las few weeks, I have been at ur local courthouse A lot. Way more than usual. This means that I am around people who do not have the same lifestyle that I do. I tend to hang out with artists, musicians, healers, and generally open minded individuals. My friends are generally spiritual, not religious. That is not the case with much of the court staff, sheriffs, security people, other attorneys and judges. I am not a typical attorney. Generally, I go to the courthouse do my job, and leave as quickly as possible. I don’t like to spend time there talking story with others. The courthouse is not a place I like to socialize at. Do my work, and go. That is my motto.

When I have multiple hearings in a day, there is downtime waiting in the hallway. I have been using that time to read the greatest salesman, read the master key, quietly speak out loud my index cards, I can be what I will to be, and even my press release. I am definitely not speaking out loud “from the roofs”,  when I do my practice there. When I am reading, I can also hear a little bit of what is being spoken about around me. It has been very interesting to be focusing on training my brain, thinking positively, and loving everyone I come in contact with, while I listen and hear those around me speaking about lots of drama, judgments, complaints and opinions. If everyone at the courthouse tried to be on the mental diet while they were there, the courthouse would probably be silent.

While I felt like an outsider before starting MK MMA, I now even feel more different. Not in a bad way, mind you. Definitely in a good way. I have always been an attorney who does not engage in attacking the other attorney, or the other side. I present facts and circumstances and leave it up to the judge to decide. My decorum in the courtroom is very professional and courteous, even to the witness on cross-examination. I have known that not all attorneys behave this way, but I and now more aware of how other attorneys automatically just practice law that way. I listen to attorneys literally attacked me in a court case that has nothing to do with me, And it is obvious that they are doing it to gain an advantage because they don’t have a good legal argument, but they do it nonetheless. And I just smile. And I just ignore the attacks, and really focus on the issues at hand to the judge and present the information that I need to present. I believe that I am received very well by the judge. I believe he appreciates my approach. He appreciates that I do not engage in lowering the standard. I appreciate it. I have never engaged in that kind of behavior, but now I am more conscious of how much it goes on and that I am not engaging that way. And I am finding myself being the observer much more often. And when I am the observer listening to the other person and then hearing myself talk, feel so positive to remain above that banter. And I believe in the long run, it definitely serves my clientele.

I think even after this course is complete, I will continue to bring readings and index cards and the greatest salesman to the courthouse so that I can read these things while I have downtime there, rather than going onto Facebook or just talking with other attorneys. Doing this practice at the courthouse has been very uplifting. I feel much better walking into the courtroom after I have finished reading my scroll then if I walked into the courtroom after looking at Facebook.

Week 10…where to begin?

I am a red. I like order, cleanliness, getting things done. This past week…my desk is a mess. It is never a mess. I am not staying on top of keeping my house clean like I usually do. Work is VERY busy right now. And I want to spend any of my time I can thinking about my goals, doing my practices and living the MKMMA.  I am not a procrastinator and I have completed my blog each week well before the deadline. Then why not this past week? I am also distracted by the state of the world, this country, where it’s going. I bounce back and forth between being discouraged and optimistic, positive. I start my mental diet on day one every day. I am not exercising, but that is one of my promises. I did not complete my service this past week because it rained whenever I had time to do it and I couldn’t do it in the rain. I didn’t drink the 3 quarts of water a day I promised I would drink. 

I did read the GS 3x a day, the BPB 1x out loud a day, the MK once a day, my press release out loud on Thursday and the movie trailer daily. I am now seeing shapes and colors! I saw a circle inside a square insider a triangle as I sat here thinking about what to write. And I sat every day picturing the lines, the square and circle, but no matter what, I could not bring the dot away from the wall to create a 3 dimensional cone. My head is spinning in both delight and confusion. I forgive EVERYONE in my life and myself. I can truly look the gal in the glass in the eye and LOVE her even though I am not completing all my promises.  I know I have the persistence to continue and achieve my goals.