Life has really shifted. There is no going back to old ways. How can I? It would be miserable to do so. Regardless of how life progresses, whatever comes my way, as long as I act in integrity, don’t take things personally and be aware and equanimous, I can move forward in peace, harmony and happiness. Now, this doesn’t mean that I won’t feel sad or any other myriad of feelings. It means I will not ever blame my feelings on someone else’s actions. No one made me feel a way….I felt that way.
What I am finding interesting as I change is how I am able to see things more objectively. For instance, I had an interaction with someone via text message the other day. I was super careful with the words I chose. I was clear and kind. Yet, they basically had a break down about how I create drama, how I was mean, etc. And they did not come to me to tell me this. And the person still has not approached me at all about this. They have just cut me out of their life for the time being. I KNOW that this has NOTHING to do with me. I am not going to defend myself. I act, speak and live with love in my heart. I am sorry that this person is experiencing such misery.
In the past, I would have taken this incident so personally. I would have reacted. I would have called the person as soon as I found out how they felt. I would have tried to defend myself even if I didn’t do anything wrong. I would have talked to more people about it. It even feels a little weird to write about it and give it any energy. I feel good about the interaction and I am sorry the other person didn’t. The end.
The silence in meditation every day is essential.
And now I am seeing momentum in my business.
Coincidence? I don’t think so. Connections are being made left and right. I feel so grateful to have found this inner peace finally. It took a while. I really feel that all things have led up to this moment of peace. A culmination of lessons learned, experiences lived, consciousness engaged, knowledge acquired and intense focus.
Mindfulness, a key to achieving goals that just is not taught enough. We live in such a fragmented, attention deficit, sensory overload society. I see people watch videos on line, post on snap chat, text and try to be in conversation in the room they are actually in with people in front of them, ALL at the same time. I am exhausted writing this.
Closing ones eyes and going inward…or getting out into nature and looking out, both feed my soul in different ways, inspire me, guide me and energize me. This helps me then be laser focused while I practice law and expand my network marketing team. And it helps with equanimity and awareness.
I have been busier since getting back from Vipassana than usual, but not in the same way. I don’t feel as tired. My activities are a mix of things from practices for this course, family time, friend time, yoga, meditation, hiking, my law practice, growing and supporting my LifeVantage team, cooking, expanding my garden, cleaning and doing the household finances. Starting my day with meditation is illuminating!
Next up….updating my DMP. Woohoo!
I need to update my DMP! Goals are being met! I am going to think bigger.
The more I push out the negative, the more positive life is. I realize how much time I used to spend with the negative voice in my head. That voice is barely around anymore. And I have accomplished a lot in life. I have achieved goals. I was not fully aware of how that voice was holding me back. But it was.
I have no time for the negativity. Life is way to short.
And it creates misery in the body. On a conscious level, who really wants that? Out of 10 days of silent meditation in Vipassana, I saw and felt the lineage of negativity in my maternal ancestry. The anger. The deception of others and self. The inability to admit this. And I felt peace realizing this.
I felt peace within myself objectively knowing this, and letting it go. Oh, to be free of this. Finally.
I am loving the silence. I am relishing the silence. It is rejuvenating. It is energizing.
And I am loving how this course has projected my relationship with my husband, who is also doing MKMMA, into such a loving, harmonious and happy place.
I am truly greeting each day with love in my heart.
I have been sharing “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving harmonious and happy” with others and getting reflections back that they are saying it regularly and loving it.
So great to pass on the love.
I do it all the time for short bits of time to consider choices and formulate ideas. But I have never been able to sit for more than a few minutes in meditation. I usually fall asleep during the 15 minute sit for this course. And then I was introduced to Vipassana. And now I can sit in the silence for an hour. And then I read Part Twenty of the Master Keys. The timing of my Vipassana retreat was perfect! I could not have scheduled it within this course any better. It was meant to be. It was in the silence that my “ideal was visualized”. I was able to fully recognize the world within in a different and experiential way like never before. I felt the infinite power omnipresent. The Master Keys make reference to understanding this intellectually and then emotionally, but, in my humble opinion, true understanding only comes with experiencing it. I understand that thought and feeling are necessary AND I understand that experiencing this first hand in the silence creates the inspiration.
After putting a goal in my DMP and then having it come to fruition, I am now ready to update my DMP.
And I feel deeply the change that has occurred within my since starting this course. It isn’t just a matter of habit that has changed. I know that I will continue to utilize the practices and strategies which make this course so powerful long after the course is ended. There is no going back. There is no looking back. And there is no attachment to the future. I feel fully present and satisfied with myself in the present moment, acceptance, and at the same time, while I have goals which I would love to achieve, I am not attached to achieving them before I consider myself happy.
I am happy. I am harmonious. I am peaceful.
I hope that all beings become happy, harmonious and peaceful.
I love you all!
I am behind on my blogging, but for a legitimate and approved reason! I attended a 12 day Vipassana retreat. Wow!! It was truly life transforming. And so many overlaps with the Master Key Experience. In order to truly EXPERIENCE the retreat, we were to be in noble silence for 10 days, no reading, no writing, no non-verbal communication. It was about actually experiencing the technique. It was about developing a 2500 year old technique on how to change the habit pattern of your mind (subconscious) so that you are able to let go of negative thought patterns which manifest a misery in both your physical and emotional body. It is a technique that teaches you how to sharpen your mind to have mastery over it so that you are able to develop the ART OF LIVING. It is a science of mind and matter. I learned how miserable I was (deep down; not on the surface) and how easy it is to cultivate peace, harmony and happiness!
During out MKMMA practices on forgiveness, I was able to forgive everyone in my life that I needed to except two people. On day 4 and day 9 I was able to truly forgive each of those people in the retreat.
I have had difficulty sitting completely still for my 15 minute sit each day, although I have done it a few times, but mostly I have to move in some small way. I learned how to sit completely still for over an hour at the retreat. It initially hurt my body, but I now can work through that and feel the benefits.
I realize that I am not someone who needs to add more things to my to do list each day. I am productive. I have accomplished almost all goals I have set for myself. I live a blessed life. I realize that what I need to do is STOP. I need to sit. I need to reflect. I need to relax.
To give myself the time to fully engage in Vipassana practice for 12 days was the greatest gift I could give to myself. I recommend it for everyone!!
What a week it has been. I am so thankful for this class right now. It has helped me stay positive while our country enters into a fascist state. Sorry for having opinions; sorry for my judgments. I am very troubled, yet I am positive too. This has been one of the most difficult weeks in life. The values of LOVE are not being lived by those in power. Another opinion, I know, but I am outraged.
My daily readings, mantras, exercises are keeping me in a great place. I am much more at ease because of them. I saw enthusiasm a lot last week, most notably in protestors. Enthusiasm to have a more just world.
When rereading previous master keys as guided, I saw this work more deeply. I am energized, not discouraged from the changes in the US administration. Energized to help make this world better.
Okay, off of all technology I go. Into Vipassina!
I just don’t do this enough. At least before last week, I didn’t. Logic takes up a lot of space in my brain. Analyzing, etc. In college, I was an English major with a focus on creative writing. I loved sitting in my bedroom window during college, writing short stories, IMAGINING. My ability to write well gave me a great advantage in law school and as an attorney, but wow, how the style of writing legal documents is SOOOOO different than writing those stories in college. I love language, especially descriptive words and I love to change up my vocabulary in everyday life. Part of my DMP is to write a book. It feels good to just write that. I have spent some time contemplating the book, using my imagination. I use my imagination when I work in my garden. I see the completed project as I dig up the bed or build the garden itself.
Our world is an imagination. Without imagination, nothing made by humans would exist. I marveled at the imagination it took to create a surfboard, a car, my favorite song, my computer, the house I live in, etc.
For some reason, this brings me to think about how I wish leaders, politicians, CEO’s, would spend more time imaging how to make this Earth a better place than to be caught up in making money for themselves.
Then I read Master Keys 9 and 10 again. And I wonder, why don’t I think I have been creative in my career? I have. I have imagined a world where women are equal to men and where communication is done respectfully. I have utilized my imagination to practice law in a way that is authentic for me. I imagine love and bring that into the courtroom. My language may not be that flowery. I can imagine an outlet for that flowery language in other ways.
As I write this, I wonder why I chose imagination as number two of the Franklin Makeover? And this wonderment is causing me to think about why I chose Enthusiasm as number 3. I must not have much trouble expressing enthusiasm if some of my friends think of me as “party planner Smurf”.
I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy!!
p.s. to my rover….I will do my blog for week 18, but then I will be taking a break that has been approved by the Fabulous Davene, for two weeks, as I participate in a retreat where I am completely disconnecting from technology and which is fulfilling one of the goals in my DMP. I will catch up with weeks 19 and 20 after I end the retreat.
I loved being focused on kindness, both giving and receiving. Focusing on kindness helps to see the “miracle” that each of us are. The more will fill out brain, our hearts, our actions, our attention with love in all of its expressions, the less room there is for sadness, hate, anger, jealousy, envy, rage, and any other negativity. And, oh, to engage in acts of kindness anonymously. It feels special.
I do see the blueprints in others sometimes jump out though. It is difficult to remain positive when you clearly experience someone have an emotional reaction to a frustration they are feeling instead of just calmly expressing the frustration. It is especially difficult when the person acts as though they were just trying to help, but then admits that the reaction was really done because they were annoyed. Mixed messages. Remaining the observer can be hard when that person is close to you. If an acquaintance acts that way or a stranger does, it is much easier to observe and let go. When it’s someone in your family its much harder. I see the positive in the situation by realizing that the person has grown because, in the past, they would not have admitted that the behavior was done because they were annoyed. They would have persisted in claiming that the behavior was done to help or was out of forgetfulness. Thank goodness for growth. At least there is growth, which is so much better than someone being stuck in their position, thinking they have nothing to change or learn.
Back to kindness…it really went hand in hand with my prior week’s action of being a pleasing person. The exercises are engaging, fun and rewarding.
I see my life changing rapidly! The more love and positivity I put out consistently, the more I get in return. This has led to a very full life filled with socializing and inter-personal relationship developments. It has been extremely difficult to maintain the sacredness of the hour before bed. For weeks now, life has been very full. Family visiting, travel, work, events to organize and attend, work and spending time with my love. It feels great and even though I am not doing all of the daily practices right now, I am continuing to do some. I regularly blurt out DO IT NOW! or I CAN BE WHAT I WILL TO BE! I see shapes and colors and am reminded of their significance for me personally and the goals I have. I walk past my movie poster regularly. When I hike, I think about MKMMA, but I have usually been with others when doing this lately and don’t want to cut them out by putting on my earphones. I am embracing the changes and need to let go of any feeling of guilt for not doing all of the practices, because I am developing relationships, making connections, and living in the moment, feeling very fulfilled. It has been a special and interesting time. I struggle a little with being reminded of the state of the world, the change in the federal administration that is about to take place (and already is taking place) and my state of fulfillment in life on a very personal level. I sometimes feel like I am living a dream. I almost hate to admit this, but overall, I am happy with my life already. I have achieved many goals in life, live in the place on earth that feeds my soul, am able to readily support myself and have amazing friends and am in a deep loving relationship that for me, is perfect. Yes, I have more goals. I want to achieve more, especially in the realm of “creative expression”, which is why one of my PPN’s is that. I know I will achieve my goals as I have achieved all the other goals I have set in my life so far. SO, I let go of the fact that I am not doing all of my practices. I cannot judge myself for this. And I persist in noticing “pleasing personality” for my week One of the Franklin makeover, because that is my most challenging area. The makeover is happening! So far, 2017 has been great.
Time keeps on slipping into the future. Yet, it is always the present. And staying in the present is where it is at. Balancing that with goals for the future is the key. I am noticing a change in my relationships. I am noticing a change in who I am engaging with and how. I feel that I have not been as diligent in keeping what I do for this course organized or kept track of, but I see and know that what I have learned so far, I am incorporating into my daily life regularly. My attitude about everything is more positive. I am getting more positivity reflected back to me. There are moments when I fight off the guilt I feel for not doing an assignment, but I carry around my compass all the time and notice colors and shapes all the time now, which in a second brings me back to my goals.
I watched a few of the movies suggested. Persistence is the key in all of them! I really loved Door to Door. It reminded me of how my daughter used to take things out of the bag we had in a corner of items to bring to good will and would go through her room and decide what she didn’t want anymore and she would go around our neighborhood knocking on people’s doors, selling the items. She would come back with lots of money, actually. Somehow, probably mostly because she was a cute little girl, she had a way of getting folks to decide to pay her for these items. She had the tenacity to go up to the doors and ring the bell. No fear on her part. She had a goal and did what she needed to do to achieve it. She would not spend the money right away either. She would give it to me to save in an account until she wanted something special or needed something.
Now she is a business major in college and I see her bringing values of love, connection, environmentalism and empathy into her business savvy. She is a vibrant black woman going into a very white male-dominated profession, but that is not a deterrent. Bill Porter was not deterred by his disability or the negative responses he got from anyone. He persevered and succeeded. My daughter’s name is Imara. Her name is Swahili and means, “strength and perseverance”. I aptly named her and love how my role as a mother and who my daughter has become, relate into the MKMMA teachings.